Greg Gutfeld: Democratic men think they can do whatever they want because they tick the boxes of liberalism

So what about Democrats and perverts? Sorry – I’m redundant.

The week began with Hunter Biden – a Democrat and a practicing deviant – whose racist texts were exposed. Of course, our best morals in the media don’t care. Because if they did, they have to admit that they buried the laptop story like a squirrel with a cocaine. Everything to help Joe win. So how is this not the biggest scandal?

Big tech, the media and the Democrats – for all to see – canceled out a truly explosive story, in order to influence an election. It is mind boggling. This, from the press who suffered from aneurysms following Trump’s tweets. So now what are they doing?

Be grateful that Anthony Weiner appeared. This is probably the wrong verb. But there he was trying to figure out how to make money with his bump. As Dr. Drew said, “It’s using your head.” He wanted to sell the photo of his famous crotch photo as a non-fungible token.

I get it – it’s hard to make a living when you’re strapped for cash and keep sexting women who just finished selling Girl Scout cookies. But if Weiner put half the effort he puts into waxing his chest into a respectable job, he could actually make a decent living. Why do you need to earn money with your brand awareness? Just do what most Republicans do and work for a living.

Here’s an idea Anthony: grow a beard, change your name, and work at Home Depot. This way no one will recognize you and you are still selling lumber, but not yours. And speaking of Weiner’s jokes.

CNN, June 10: Camerota: in October, you were on a zoom call with your colleagues from the magazine “the new Yorker”. Everyone took a break of several minutes, during which you were caught masturbating on camera. You were then fired from that job after 27 years working there. And since then, you’ve been on leave from CNN. Am I all right? Toobin: you understood everything, it’s sad to say.

Like Joe Biden approaching an escalator – I don’t know where to start. But imagine the meeting at CNN where they chopped up that segment. Like – should a woman or a man interview Toobin? We want to show we’re pro-woman – but we don’t want to turn her on. Maybe Joy Behar is free? Should we let him explain what happened or allow him to enjoy her detailing the whole circumstance … or is it an exceptional circumstance?

And if we get rid of sign language, the hearing-impaired box, we need less hand movements in this segment. Poor Alison Camerata. Talk about the risk premium. Boy if there was a time to socially distance oneself and wear a mask. Where is the plexiglass when you need it? She must have felt like Agent Starling asking Hannibal Lecter questions in his cell. I overheard Stelter relay the interview when he learned that Toobin “choke on the chicken” was not going to be a cooking segment.

So Toobin has already returned from a seven-month suspension – some would say he got off easily. But what did he do wrong anyway? CNN features on-air reporters who indulge themselves for other reporters at all times. Did you see the joke between Cuomo and Lemon? All that’s missing is the snap locker room towel. I don’t know, maybe they should pair Toobin with Jim Acosta. They could see who’s a bigger jerk … Off.

THE RETURN OF TOOBIN FOR THE CNN STELTER: THE “SOCIAL MEDIA CONVERSATION” HAS “PAST”

But I heard the Toobs had learned his lesson. From now on, he will only masturbate in person. Look, Toobin’s mea culpa was certainly cringe-worthy, but maybe it could start a new trend for CNN. Weekly apologies for stray anchors. I can see it now.

Fake skit from CNN: Anchor 1: Thank you for coming today. // Anchor 2: It’s good to finally be here. // Anchor 1: So just to recap. You have been assigned a story to cover. And you have questioned both sides of the question. // Anchor 2: That’s correct. // Anchor 1: And you used verifiable named sources, instead of anonymous, and checked all their citations. // Anchor 2: Yes, it is. // Anchor 1: And then you presented the play in a fair and balanced way, and you forbade your personal biases to cloud the story. // Anchor 2: That’s correct. // Anchor 1: Never do that again. // Anchor 2: I’m so sorry. // Anchor 1: It’s CNN !!

So – what a monster show – and they’re all Democrats. Imagine if they weren’t. You think one of them would be there right now. Of course not. They would disappear faster than Parmesan on the Hunter Biden carpet.

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Bottom line – Democratic men think they can do whatever they want because they tick the boxes of liberalism. Get off a bridge and drown your date? No big deal. He is pro-abortion. Bill Clinton was the patron saint of the Pig Pass: as long as you kneel in front of leftist causes, you can have an intern to kneel in front of you. And benefit from exceptional discounts at dry cleaners.

And so – if you believe in reincarnation – hope we all come back as Democrats. So no one is safe, which makes us all equally horrible.

This article is adapted from Greg Gutfeld’s opening monologue in the June 11, 2021 edition of “Gutfeld!”


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